Basecamp Pokhara, 15 november

Hey everybody,

live and direct from the terras across the street from our place. I feel like i live here by now, it's too good! Fascinating people with the most inspiring stories move in and out of this town, there is jamming with great musicians every day, I learn more and more about the Tarot (getting pretty damn good at it by now :)) and the friends that I have here are becoming part of my life here... not sure if the last part is good or not, getting attached to people... it's inevitable when you stay together for a while and connect so well it seems you've been friends forever.

There is a guy here who's the most classy and mysterious person I have ever met. He's British, has good taste, carries around a Bose soundsystem, knows the best places to travel to, and always says no to whatever I offer him. Tarot? No thanks. Croissant? No thanks. Some water? No thanks. He's special :)
He has a nose for business too. He bought shitloads of original Banksy art back in the day when Banksy was not as popular as he is today. And then sold it off when it got expensive. And that's just one example.

I also met someone from California who lived in Dubai for a while. He ended up there after winning 10 000 dollar in a gameshow. How is that for material for a novel?

Ok much more to tell but I want to get some leather boots and I need to go to the market for that. So that's what I am going to do!

Hugs and kisses and
GODSPEED!!!!

Tinie xox

Basecamp Pokhara, 7 november

Hey you,

just had breakfast in the good ol' livingroom. Yesterday another wonderful night of good music in good company... Should remind myself to take more pics. Anaïs, a French girl who was here yesterday took some and will hopefully post them on FB at some point.
Bede is f***ing insanely good on the guitar, he plays Jeff Buckley and he OWNS that shit, so amazing. When he starts playing I just drift away. Such good luck to have met such a good musician who plays here every evening. Good singer too, really fun to harmonize together. Love you Bede!!!!!
Kalei is back in town too, I am considering doing that 'trek' he did (which didn't really involve any trekking, it's an eight hour drive and then a homestay at a Nepalese family's place), it sounds like something I might enjoy, it could give me an opportunity to read and study without getting distracted all the time...
But first things first: moving to Lonely View. At Fridaynights dubstep party we met a guy named Rotem who is staying at Lonely View. We had a bonfire there two days ago and the place is just perfect: the biggest room even has a fridge and a stove to cook on.

Ok, we moved. I share a room with Kalei now at the Lonely view.  He 's been a pal. We connect so easily and there doesn't seem to be any of that sexual tension crap going on, which is refreshing. He's beautiful and attractive enough, that is not the point. Another cosmic brother I guess.

Tonight full moon party at Freedom. Maybe later go check out Paki's land, see if we can get a little rave organized there. Maybe get a small community going, build a house, get the veggies growing, etc... That's a long term commitment tho. But good training for certain other plans I have... Smoking chillums brings about so many awesome ideas, but at the same time it makes you so content and grateful for the present moment that nothing ever gets planned or executed!!! I feel it's gonna be time soon to move and manifest some of the gained wisdom in the real world.

Jessica asked to join her from Kathmandu to Bardia on a rafting trip... sounds tempting, and it would be cool to see her again too. More and more options opening up. Full moon rising!!

Godspeed dear friends,

Love Tinie xoxox

Basecamp Pokhara, 4 november

Hi dear reader,

it's the next day and we're not going anywhere. The rain caused landslides and other inconveniences and the organisers of the festoche decided to postpone it till Monday. Which leaves me three more days in Pokhara! It's funny how we all felt some sort of relief when we heard about the delay... so hard to get out of here.
Yesterday I took a walk with Bede and we met Matt on the road, so the three of us spent pretty much all afternoon together. I enjoyed doing that bench with a bottle of wine and a chillum soooo much. Sometimes I miss hanging out with my friends in Belgium, but yesterday was so relaxed, kicking back and chatting away, it felt like we were just as good a friends as whatever friends who have known eachother forever. Very grateful for that. It' s so good to be yourself around people being themselves and feeling that energy level soar. There was this haze over the lake and the surrounding mountains, and the colours of the boats and people on the lake popped out so brightly... the sounds were slightly subdued, just as when snow covers the landscape, and the rhythm of it all just baffled me in its perfection. Good times my friends, good times!

So today is all about finishing my Eco book (Foucaults Pendulum) and maybe throwing in some studying of the Minor Arcana.

Hugs and kisses, and godspeed!

Tinie xox

Basecamp Pokhara, 3 november

Allo allo

I am writing you from the same old livingroom, at Peace Eye Lodge. Today we were supposed to leave to the White Jaguar Tribe Gathering, a festival that goes on in a beautiful mountainy spot about three hours drive from here. But alas, it started raining yesterday and it was raining this morning aswell... and we're not really down with leeches crawling allover the place, or being soaked all day, so we decided to wait for the sun and leave tomorrow instead. All packed, hotelbill payed, ready to go. But stuck again, so lounging here, reading, writing, listening to Bede playing the guitar, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes... just like home! I was reminded of the days when I shared my house with Kevin (it was his house then) and he would play songs and I would snuggle up and read, or watch the fire... good times.

Yesterday we had an awesome evening with the homies. We had dinner with the three Danish girls Mia, Emilie and Juliette, Matt who has been around here forever and is just as motivated as I am to get out of here (ahum), Bede, and Ivan the juggler. Lee, an extremely pretty girl with singing skills, joined us too. Great company. Good times. When we got back at the Peace Eye we did a bit of jamming and we rocked out! Wish there was recordings of it, so nice when everybody blends and vibes together!

The saying goodbye to Ivan was a bit awkward. I probably shouldn't have asked him to spend one last night together, knowing that he doesn't feel it and wants his space. Yes, letting go, it's still not my best subject. It's been a challenge to not feel rejected or pity myself for not being as wanted as I thought.  It's so easy to have your self confidence shaken by feeling rejected: what is wrong with me? Am I not attractive to him? Does he think I'm not interesting enough? Yada yada. I am not going there, it's not because he's not in the same place or doesn't feel strongly about me (anymore) that I have to feel bad about myself. It's a new world, a new day, a new life for me... and I'm feeling good! Freedom is mine. Plus what we shared was beautiful, I got a lot out of it. I feel priviliged to have had the opportunity to bask in the light and warmth of that beautiful person that he is. So in case you read this Ivanhoe, thanks for the good times! Ahoo!

I just had a mushroom omelette, gonna let that one digest and read that Umberto Eco book that I REALLY need to finish. So far for now folks.

Hugs kisses and godspeed!

Tinie xox

Old and new

Hey there!

I woke up this morning thinking about a poem I wrote ages ago. I looked it up on MySpace (I kept a blog on there back in the day) and copied it on here, with two other scraps that I liked. Amazing how I wrote this stuff five years ago! Seems like yesterday...

mei 2007

How should I pray
I don't remember
how to open up and
touch the core within
how to face the light
to become small and to grow
to become heart and soul
feel the truth like a glow
to find out what i've always known

the core
let me touch it
when i watch you i can see it
the core
how could i ask more

How should i pray
I got smart and forgot
how to put aside my ego
how to enter my deep center
how to become less than this but more than this aswell

How to face the whole creation facing nothing but myself
to become a contradiction
making sense in every way
to let go of rhyme and reason
to forget that I'm afraid
How should I pray

How to feel a higher power that is merely part of me
and lift me up to higher places where it's easier to see
the bigger pic the greater plan
where I belong in this reality

How should I pray

december 2007

walk with me

Some of them leave notes
others leave a mess
sometimes they leave shattered dreams
but that's my call I guess
Some of them are handsome
and some have things to say
but most of them are clueless
chicken out and run away

You are worse than some
and better than the lot
you remind me of the things
I always wanted but then forgot

You make me want to grow
into a better me
I want to walk with you
atleast for now, the rest we'll see  

september 2007

I've been looking out for answers

looking up into the sky

looking down my own dark alley

left and right and round and round

I've been searching for the logic

I've been searching for a rhyme

I've been confused and disappointed

searching seemed a waste of time

I've been wishing for a blessing

I've been wishing for a break

I've been hoping, wanting, praying

while happiness was just mine to take

I've been waiting for deliverance

I've been waiting for a sign

I've been trying to hold on

but letting go made it all mine

Hear hear.

Had a really good evening yesterday with Bede. He's such a good musician, I feel priviliged to be in his audience. And he does impressions, I almost pissed myself laughing yesterday :) The more reserved guy I hadn't really gotten to know yet turns out to be great company. He'll be around so I guess we'll see more of eachother the coming days.

I also met this sweet Australian guy, a juggler (anyone see a pattern here? :)) He walked me home last night and stayed over... nuf said, good times :) Not sure if he's gonna show up today, but strangely enough I don't really care. Either way is fine. Enough stuff to do, plenty of people to meet. Lately I don't seem to be able to get hung up on stuff anymore.

Shower and breakfast. And I'm gonna figure out a little sight seeing trip for later.

Much love, godspeed!

Tinie xox

Basecamp Pokhara, 29 oktober

Dear readers,

the ones who read this regularly must be wondering what I am doing online so soon. Yeah, the big trek turned out not as big as I thought it would be. Thank God for Paki inviting me to do Poon Hill, thank God I didn't do the ABC nor that alternative trek that both take atleast ten days... at the end of day one I could feel this stabbing pain in my right knee, the pain that got me last time I went skiing... The next day was fine, a little stab once in a while, no biggie. But day three was constantly descending these pretty big stairs, so I was in a lot of pain and in the end of the day my left knee was f***ed too, by the compensating the right one.... AWESOME!! Yeah, I was pretty stupid thinking my knees were gonna be fine in the Himalaya. Therefore: day four riding back with a jeep to Pokhara...

But eventhough the trek was a little one, it was still worth while! It was soooooo beautiful and it felt wonderful to be hiking in nature. So grateful for having the ability to experience that energy and riches. It was challenging and rewarding, met some nice people on the road and Paki turned out great. Well I guess the pics speak for themselves. I will leave some with comments soon.

Walking and enjoying the scenery leaves space to think. So here are the latest big thoughts I don't want to keep from you. Be warned :)

The triple W:
Don't WANT: If you want certain things you are vulnerable to disappointment. As the Buddha says: desire is the cause of suffering. Ofcourse there is always the need for certain things, but that's where your self-knowledge comes in: do I want this or do I need this? Honesty and discipline to discriminate between the two and give up the wanting certainly helps to find that road to bliss.

Don't WORRY: Worries are a buzkill. But the past is past, the future is not happening yet. So stay tuned into the here and now, and let go of the stuff you have no control over. Realize how arrogant it is to think you are fully in charge; you're not. Relaxing in your current situation, accepting your reality rather than criticizing it, acting upon what is going on here and now for the sake of following your true self rather than acting upon irrelevant past or future situations, or for the sake of other peoples approval, might be a good way to get back to that flow you need to go with.

Don't WAIT: The kind of waiting that makes you pace up and down the room or tap your fingers on the table is a total energy-eater. Don't do it. Do something you like instead. Don't drop that appointment or whatever it was that presented itself and then made you wait, just don't cut yourself off from other impulses/stimuli that might present themselves. A person who is waiting is wasting precious energy, with a big chance of getting frustrated. Don't wait, do it. Who knows if what you are waiting for is ever going to happen!

Beade commented that it might be a good idea to rephrase the triple W positively, rather affirming what you should do insteadof saying what you shouldn't, and I agree that affirmation usually is more affective than denying. So we came up with the triple C: Be Content, Confident and Continue!!!

Godspeed you perfect being!!! Do it!

(with a big up to Kalei for pushing me further by just being himself)

Hugs and kisses xox Tinie

At Devi Falls, Pokhara

                                     

With Sita and her nephew

Sita and her sisters

Sita's youngest son and his cousin

Jessica!

Check out the mountains!

Check out that view!

Jessica and I hiked up to the World Peace Pagoda, the most obvious landmark at the lake

View over Pokhara from the Pagoda

 

Begnas Lake

Crossing Begnas

Pic taken by Hans Logghe's brother, at a posh resort across the Begnas lake

Boating back to where we came from, and being totally late...

First day of Poon Hill hike: breakfast break

Paki and me

Thousands and thousands of stairs... I'll dream about these mother*******

Sunrise as seen from the lodge on second day of Poon Hill hike

Wild ganja, and lots of it

Flowers for Light Festival, and BIG mountain!

View from Gorepani

View from the room

Sunrise seen from Poon Hill

I am one happy trooper!!

Here it comes!!

Mesmerizing view... goosebumps

Seen on the hike back down

Hot springs at Tatopani

View from the room in Tatopani

 

The jeep that saved my life :)

Pokhara, 25 oktober

Hey hey

writing this from my current livingroom, being the restaurant/lounge area of the guesthouse where I am staying at. Peace Eye Lodge... grows on ya. it's about as relaxed as Varkala and we know what happened there: I got stuck!  Love this place though, I'm meeting really cool people, and I am as relaxed as it gets, which feels GREAT. There have been some attempts at leaving for a trek in the Annapurna area, but somehow that just didn't happen. Kalei, a guy I met here a couple days ago and I relate to in that way you relate to people you have known in a former life, or who just happen to vibe pretty much on the same wavelength..., well that guy was talking about this trek that doesn't really have the scenic views that you get on the ABC (Annapurna Base Camp) trek, but is totally remote, not touristy whatsoever and has marihuana patches all along it. Interesting... So I was down joining him and Paki, his friend (whom he met like two days before, that's how it goes here) on that trek. But then I started to understand it wasn't gonna be the three of us, but it was gonna be, each on their own little trip, so no commitment, just casually sharing some of the route with no attachment to one another whatsoever... so I was seeing myself already, alone in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, Kalei floating somewhere on shrooms or whatever ally he's hanging out with, and Paki heading back to the valley... Not a great picture. Then I considered just taking a guide for the sake of being safe in whatever possible situation. Kalei hooks me up withthis guide who knows the area, I talk with the guy, , and a girl I met here was interested in joining us, so that was it, the best of both worlds: alternative trek with interesting company, AND the security of a guide who knows what he's doing... but after an hour or so I meet that girl again and she says she changed her mind and is doing the ABC anyway. So I decided I didn't want to go with the dudes, although that trek appealed me big time AND I totally enjoy Kaleis and Paki's company.... just didn't want to get myself into trouble in case they went wandering off, right. I decided to join the girl with that organized trek she was doing up the ABC. Great price, like half of what I was going to pay the guide on that alternative trek, and basically back to the initial plan. Annie (the girl) called the tour operator to say I was joining, and we were gonna meet at the trek briefing today at ten AM.
And then I decided to go to a lake this morning, tooka a boatride, had breakfast on the other side, and by the time i got back in Pokhara it was ten thirty and I totally missed the briefing... Annie who had been waiting for me to go there together didn't leave a message so I had no idea how to get a hold of her and I didn't know where that tour operator was at (there's hundreds of them here). Paki and I went out on the big lake boating and swimming. Great time. He suggested we do the Poon Hill trek (half way up the ABC trek, same scenery, less strenuous) together, he's done it plenty of times before. I liked that idea. When I got back, I met Annie and told her I changed my mind. Everybody happy. So I REALLY hope I am leaving on that trek tomorrow!!!!!

This whole silly story of constantly changing my plans is just an illustration of the current mood. I just don't feel like committing to anything, and I go with the flow. It's an interesting exercice in not getting stressed over having to do stuff, over people not being able to kep their promises and so on... cuz I haven't exactly been keeping mine either lately. I am getting to this point where I am just doing what I really want to do, not for the sake of some obligation, or schedule, or guilt towards others... and hoping that the people I am dealing with do the same. If nothing bothers you anymore, you're really golden, wherever you are. Waiting? Not in my book. Exspectations? Out the window. It's easy to go back with that fearful energy that makes you doubt stuff, and stress about stuff, but I try to hold that wonderful relaxed feel i have right now, taking with both hands whatever is offered me, and being genuinely happy with what is been given me.

So that's my reality right now.

Big hugs to all of you, and GODSPEED!!!!

xoxox Tinie

(pics follow after trek, but it's not a promise :))


So