Dear reader
It almost makes me laugh, this attempt to finally get back on the horse and blog again. It's not that I don't have things to say. But there are so many excuses to keep me from writing. I tell myself nobody is waiting for this. Or I start over-editing myself, getting more and more upset about my lack of writing skills. Well it's a blog, not a fucking novel. Moreover, whoever sets eyes on this is free to read it or ignore it, love it or hate it. The ultimate reason not to blog is that I am reluctant to open up about personal stuff, especially when there is other people involved. I can use aliases or first letters I guess but that wouldn't make much difference to the aforementioned characters. The easiest way out of this is to not worry about what 'they' think. Elisabeth Gilbert did it. I have no intention to badmouth or diss anybody. Love conquers all. And there is always the possibility to leave a comment in case certain things I write cause any disturbance.
Ok after this quite lengthy disclaimer I get to it :)
For those of you who have no idea what I am doing or where I am doing it: I am in Sofa, Bulgaria, on the second year of a sabbatical that I took in an attempt to figure out where I want to settle down, if I can do it in Bulgaria, whether or not I can survive the cold winters here. With this absurd amount of time on my hands I am also enjoying doing the things I really like and developing these talents, being singing, songwriting, making the occasional necklace or bracelet, reading the tarot, and, the hardest and most challenging, this: writing. I am learning every day, about myself, about what works for me or doesn't. This sabbatical grants me the space to follow my heart and see how my life enfolds accordingly. In meantime I meet tons of beautiful people who help me in the process, by supporting and inspiring me. It feels like I get to choose my family here, the tribe I want to work and live with. I believe Bulgaria has the same healing capacity as Israel. My heart is opening and growing a little more every day.
I am living in the Happy House with Tsvety, Leonid, Teddy and Misho. I met them the first time I came to Bulgaria and today they feel like family. This is a true blessing I cannot express enough gratitude for. I don't know what I would do without them, especially Tsvety. Besides from offering me a warm nest to stay and feel home, she is a mentor, a shining light, an important example. She is the one who keeps inspiring me to never stop loving myself, to not give up and to love the people around me unconditionally. It's an ongoing challenge, and obviously there are many obstacles. But she's living it, doing it, no matter what. You are beautiful Tsvety!
The quest for a house is not so simple. Mostly because I am not even sure what I am looking for. I am still hoping to fall in love with a place, a house, a piece of land. This hobbit house is still haunting me, but building a house from scratch is tempting and scary at the same time. The house issue brings up other, probably even more fundamental issues. Looking at the renovating or building of a house, it automatically makes me wonder who is gonna do it? Do I pay some contractor and a bunch of builders for it? Or do I gather the tribe and make it a family effort? And am I willing and ready to commit myself to a group like this? Do I wanna share this home experience? And if so, with whom? Is it a good idea to buy a lot of land and initiate some sort of community? A lot of questions and there is so far only one thing I know for sure: I need support. From friends, from my partner. Which finally brings me to my heart's desire: to meet this man who wants to be with me as I want to be with him. Sharing the love and the life. Doing the crazy project. Commit. Have a family. It scares me off my wits. But I want to experience this.
So as you can tell, not very original. Just a girl living her life, dreaming away, and trying to enjoy what the day brings. Next time more about the music.
Godspeed friends, have a great day!
Tinie xox
It almost makes me laugh, this attempt to finally get back on the horse and blog again. It's not that I don't have things to say. But there are so many excuses to keep me from writing. I tell myself nobody is waiting for this. Or I start over-editing myself, getting more and more upset about my lack of writing skills. Well it's a blog, not a fucking novel. Moreover, whoever sets eyes on this is free to read it or ignore it, love it or hate it. The ultimate reason not to blog is that I am reluctant to open up about personal stuff, especially when there is other people involved. I can use aliases or first letters I guess but that wouldn't make much difference to the aforementioned characters. The easiest way out of this is to not worry about what 'they' think. Elisabeth Gilbert did it. I have no intention to badmouth or diss anybody. Love conquers all. And there is always the possibility to leave a comment in case certain things I write cause any disturbance.
Ok after this quite lengthy disclaimer I get to it :)
For those of you who have no idea what I am doing or where I am doing it: I am in Sofa, Bulgaria, on the second year of a sabbatical that I took in an attempt to figure out where I want to settle down, if I can do it in Bulgaria, whether or not I can survive the cold winters here. With this absurd amount of time on my hands I am also enjoying doing the things I really like and developing these talents, being singing, songwriting, making the occasional necklace or bracelet, reading the tarot, and, the hardest and most challenging, this: writing. I am learning every day, about myself, about what works for me or doesn't. This sabbatical grants me the space to follow my heart and see how my life enfolds accordingly. In meantime I meet tons of beautiful people who help me in the process, by supporting and inspiring me. It feels like I get to choose my family here, the tribe I want to work and live with. I believe Bulgaria has the same healing capacity as Israel. My heart is opening and growing a little more every day.
I am living in the Happy House with Tsvety, Leonid, Teddy and Misho. I met them the first time I came to Bulgaria and today they feel like family. This is a true blessing I cannot express enough gratitude for. I don't know what I would do without them, especially Tsvety. Besides from offering me a warm nest to stay and feel home, she is a mentor, a shining light, an important example. She is the one who keeps inspiring me to never stop loving myself, to not give up and to love the people around me unconditionally. It's an ongoing challenge, and obviously there are many obstacles. But she's living it, doing it, no matter what. You are beautiful Tsvety!
The quest for a house is not so simple. Mostly because I am not even sure what I am looking for. I am still hoping to fall in love with a place, a house, a piece of land. This hobbit house is still haunting me, but building a house from scratch is tempting and scary at the same time. The house issue brings up other, probably even more fundamental issues. Looking at the renovating or building of a house, it automatically makes me wonder who is gonna do it? Do I pay some contractor and a bunch of builders for it? Or do I gather the tribe and make it a family effort? And am I willing and ready to commit myself to a group like this? Do I wanna share this home experience? And if so, with whom? Is it a good idea to buy a lot of land and initiate some sort of community? A lot of questions and there is so far only one thing I know for sure: I need support. From friends, from my partner. Which finally brings me to my heart's desire: to meet this man who wants to be with me as I want to be with him. Sharing the love and the life. Doing the crazy project. Commit. Have a family. It scares me off my wits. But I want to experience this.
So as you can tell, not very original. Just a girl living her life, dreaming away, and trying to enjoy what the day brings. Next time more about the music.
Godspeed friends, have a great day!
Tinie xox
