Pokhara, 17 december

Dear readers,

since the last overly depressing news you got from me I am back on track. There were a few bumps in the road, but hey, it always gets better. It's only then when you are back in the sun that you see how brief and unsignificant the rainstorm was.

So I'll be back home soon! I'm looking forward to seeing my loved ones in Belgium.

The messages some of you sent me in reply to the last blog I posted were overwhelming and gave me such a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside... I am not alone, I am loved, and life is pretty damn beautiful :)

Namaste and godspeed!

Tinie xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Pokhara, 9 december

Dear readers

haven't really written anything the last couple of days. I feel like crap today so I thought this was the perfect moment for some sharing. :) I'm hungry and uncapable of eating anything, the menu doesn't inspire me one bit. I'm sad and angry and frustrated and so alone. Don't feel like talking to any of the usual suspects. Are they really friends? Or just characters in this random travel story, there to stir up demons inside of me I didn't even know I had, or I thought I beat decades ago.... Well the demons are still there and I am so ****ing tired of having to fight them. And the characters in this movie, as beautiful and interesting they may be, they seem so out of reach and surreal. Was I writing this is my home? That I have my homies here? I don't relate anymore. I am like a dreamer, uncapable of grasping what is going on, and at the same time too overly selfconscious to let go and just enjoy the ride. I am trying so hard to make any sense out of it, to see where it is all leading to, to understand what it all means. I find myself crying my eyes out for the same old reasons, for wounds that have been inflicted long before I left on this trip, wounds I thought were healed or atleast healing. Lost in Wonderland. I wish I could just get the hell out of here and have some peace. Find some true companionship, a pair of arms to hold me and comfort me, the ease of a mutual understanding that has no need for big words and gestures.

Anyway, you catch my drift.

What is probably really throwing me off is the approaching return to Belgium, and all the questions that arise with that... Lord have mercy.

Godspeed and big hugs

Tinie xox

Chitwan, 4 december

Bus terminal in Pokhara, I'm leaving to Chitwan!

Entrance Chitwan national park

First encouter with wild rhinoceros

Shower!

On an elephant ride through the jungle

Elephant docking station :)

Magic sunset

Wild rhino!