Allo allo
I am writing you from the same old livingroom, at Peace Eye Lodge. Today we were supposed to leave to the White Jaguar Tribe Gathering, a festival that goes on in a beautiful mountainy spot about three hours drive from here. But alas, it started raining yesterday and it was raining this morning aswell... and we're not really down with leeches crawling allover the place, or being soaked all day, so we decided to wait for the sun and leave tomorrow instead. All packed, hotelbill payed, ready to go. But stuck again, so lounging here, reading, writing, listening to Bede playing the guitar, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes... just like home! I was reminded of the days when I shared my house with Kevin (it was his house then) and he would play songs and I would snuggle up and read, or watch the fire... good times.
Yesterday we had an awesome evening with the homies. We had dinner with the three Danish girls Mia, Emilie and Juliette, Matt who has been around here forever and is just as motivated as I am to get out of here (ahum), Bede, and Ivan the juggler. Lee, an extremely pretty girl with singing skills, joined us too. Great company. Good times. When we got back at the Peace Eye we did a bit of jamming and we rocked out! Wish there was recordings of it, so nice when everybody blends and vibes together!
The saying goodbye to Ivan was a bit awkward. I probably shouldn't have asked him to spend one last night together, knowing that he doesn't feel it and wants his space. Yes, letting go, it's still not my best subject. It's been a challenge to not feel rejected or pity myself for not being as wanted as I thought. It's so easy to have your self confidence shaken by feeling rejected: what is wrong with me? Am I not attractive to him? Does he think I'm not interesting enough? Yada yada. I am not going there, it's not because he's not in the same place or doesn't feel strongly about me (anymore) that I have to feel bad about myself. It's a new world, a new day, a new life for me... and I'm feeling good! Freedom is mine. Plus what we shared was beautiful, I got a lot out of it. I feel priviliged to have had the opportunity to bask in the light and warmth of that beautiful person that he is. So in case you read this Ivanhoe, thanks for the good times! Ahoo!
I just had a mushroom omelette, gonna let that one digest and read that Umberto Eco book that I REALLY need to finish. So far for now folks.
Hugs kisses and godspeed!
Tinie xox
I am writing you from the same old livingroom, at Peace Eye Lodge. Today we were supposed to leave to the White Jaguar Tribe Gathering, a festival that goes on in a beautiful mountainy spot about three hours drive from here. But alas, it started raining yesterday and it was raining this morning aswell... and we're not really down with leeches crawling allover the place, or being soaked all day, so we decided to wait for the sun and leave tomorrow instead. All packed, hotelbill payed, ready to go. But stuck again, so lounging here, reading, writing, listening to Bede playing the guitar, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes... just like home! I was reminded of the days when I shared my house with Kevin (it was his house then) and he would play songs and I would snuggle up and read, or watch the fire... good times.
Yesterday we had an awesome evening with the homies. We had dinner with the three Danish girls Mia, Emilie and Juliette, Matt who has been around here forever and is just as motivated as I am to get out of here (ahum), Bede, and Ivan the juggler. Lee, an extremely pretty girl with singing skills, joined us too. Great company. Good times. When we got back at the Peace Eye we did a bit of jamming and we rocked out! Wish there was recordings of it, so nice when everybody blends and vibes together!
The saying goodbye to Ivan was a bit awkward. I probably shouldn't have asked him to spend one last night together, knowing that he doesn't feel it and wants his space. Yes, letting go, it's still not my best subject. It's been a challenge to not feel rejected or pity myself for not being as wanted as I thought. It's so easy to have your self confidence shaken by feeling rejected: what is wrong with me? Am I not attractive to him? Does he think I'm not interesting enough? Yada yada. I am not going there, it's not because he's not in the same place or doesn't feel strongly about me (anymore) that I have to feel bad about myself. It's a new world, a new day, a new life for me... and I'm feeling good! Freedom is mine. Plus what we shared was beautiful, I got a lot out of it. I feel priviliged to have had the opportunity to bask in the light and warmth of that beautiful person that he is. So in case you read this Ivanhoe, thanks for the good times! Ahoo!
I just had a mushroom omelette, gonna let that one digest and read that Umberto Eco book that I REALLY need to finish. So far for now folks.
Hugs kisses and godspeed!
Tinie xox
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